Accountability is Love

You often confuse love with comfort. You think the people who let us be, who don’t push us, who make life easier, love us the most.

But true love, the kind that changes you, often feels uncomfortable.

M. Rose said it this way: “The person that challenges you and holds you accountable loves you more than the person that watches you stay the same and settle for less than your best.”

That truth came alive for me while coaching my 7th-grade Holy Trinity football team last week. In a game where we were outmatched physically and getting beaten handily, I had to choose accountability.

During a kickoff, one of our players didn’t run full speed or give his best effort. It would have been easy to stay quiet or just switch him out with another player. But I chose the harder path and held him accountable.

Instead of yelling, I got down on his level and said, “Ben, you didn’t give me or the team everything you had there. You slowed down and hoped someone else would make the tackle.”

He shot back, “That’s not true, I did.”

I responded, “I wouldn’t tell you something that wasn’t true. I have seen your best effort before, and that wasn’t it. If you give anything less than your best effort on the next kickoff, you’ll be standing next to me.”

Was it comfortable? No. But it was an act of love. Because letting him settle would have been easier, but it wouldn’t have helped him grow or our team improve. On the following kickoff, Ben sprinted full speed and got in on the tackle. Accountability sparked a different effort.

You may not like being pushed, challenged, or held accountable. But none of us are above it. The leaders, parents, coaches, and friends who love us most are the ones who won’t let us settle for less than our best.

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