Find Joy in Them

Everybody has someone they look up to either personally or professionally.

One of those people to me is author Jim Collins. So when I got the opportunity to go see him speak for half a day, I jumped at the chance. While I learned and confirmed a great deal about leadership and what makes high-performing organizations tick, there was one insight that moved me more deeply than anything else.

Collins said, “Don’t get frustrated by what people are not. Find joy in what they are.”

Think about your typical day. How much energy do you spend feeling frustrated about what a colleague, spouse, child, or friend is not doing, or who they are not becoming? My guess is you are either complaining about them to someone else or venting about them under your breath.

Now, imagine what might happen if instead, you focused that energy on finding joy in who they already are.

• The unique gifts they bring to the table.

• The specific strengths they have that you might have overlooked.

• The positive things they do, even if those things feel small.

This subtle shift, from frustration to appreciation, won’t just improve your relationships. It will transform your experience of life, work, and family. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to completely overlook a behavior that needs to change, but it does mean you will look at them first through the lens of what’s good versus what’s wrong.

So today, when you feel that frustration creeping in, pause and remind yourself to find joy in what they are.

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