It is surprisingly easy to sit in someone’s presence and quickly figure out what bothers you about them.

Maybe it is their personality. Maybe it is their body language. Maybe it is something about their attitude that rubs you the wrong way. If you spend enough time around people, you will eventually notice their flaws. Everyone has them.

But there is another way to look at people.

Instead of focusing on what frustrates you, you can choose to pay attention to what someone brings to the table. Because every person carries attributes. The way they think, the way they solve problems, the way they show up for others. Those qualities may not always appear in the way you expect, but they are there.

One time I saw author Jim Collins speak and he said something I have never forgotten:

“Don’t get frustrated by what people are not. Find joy in what they are.”

That sentence is a powerful reminder that the lens you choose to see people through matters. If you constantly look for what people lack, you will find plenty of reasons to be disappointed. But if you look for what they bring, you begin to see strengths that might otherwise go unnoticed.

And when you start seeing people through that lens, something interesting happens.

You stop trying to change who they are and start finding joy in what they are.

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