Mistakes are a part of life. In fact, if you are doing anything fast, meaningful, or difficult, it’s not if you will make a mistake, it’s when.

The problem is what most people do next.

After a mistake, people usually move in one of two directions. Some people immediately go negative and begin beating themselves up. They say things to themselves like, “You stink,” or “You always mess this up.” Others move in the opposite direction and become overly positive by brushing the mistake aside and saying something like, “No big deal, you’ll get it next time.”

I see this all the time when coaching young athletes. In my first game as the head coach, one of the running backs fumbled the ball, causing a turnover. His response was to drop his head and beat himself up. While the reaction was natural, it missed the point in the moment.

After a mistake, the goal is not to be negative or positive. The goal is to be useful.

So I put my arm around him, and got right in his face and said, “You are alright. It can happen to anyone. Move on to the Next play. I am not going away from you.” You can see the 11-second video here.

Being useful means stepping back long enough to understand what actually happened so the mistake becomes something you can learn from rather than something you simply react to. A simple way to do that is by asking three questions.

I don’t pretend this is easy. In fact, it’s hard. But the more you remember that after a mistake, the goal is to be useful, the easier it becomes to respond in a way that actually helps you improve.

P.S. The Optimistic Outlook is a Podcast! Leaving a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts would mean a lot.