Everyone experiences doubt or quiet thoughts of negative self-talk. The voice that says you're not enough, not ready, not cut out for this.

Most people handle it one of two ways. They push through and pretend it's not there, or they listen to it and let it steer.

There's a third option, and it's the one that actually works.

NBA center Steven Adams, known as much for his mental toughness as for his physicality, uses a technique worth stealing. When he hits a moment of doubt or impostor syndrome, he doesn't suppress it. He gets out a piece of paper and writes it all down. Stream of consciousness to express his raw emotions. He doesn’t allow editing or filters.

Once that is finished, he picks up a different color pen, and he writes a response as if he were coaching a ten-year-old through the exact same feelings. The tone shifts completely. The response sounds like: I'm proud of you for writing this down. Look how far you've come. Your next moment matters more than this one.

When he reads back what he just wrote, something has shifted. He has elevated his own thinking. He has pulled himself out of the doubt.

Let me make this concrete. Imagine you just stepped into your first big promotion or you are taking on an opportunity you have never done before. The doubt and insecure thoughts are rampant.

What you might write in pen one:

I don't belong here. Everyone else seems so confident. They're going to figure out I'm not ready for this.

What you write in pen two, coaching your ten-year-old self:

I'm proud of you for taking this on. You were chosen for this because someone believed in you, and that wasn't an accident. Everyone feels uncertain about something new. You don't have to have all the answers today. Just show up, keep learning, and let your effort speak for itself. Your next moment is what matters.

Same situation. Completely different perspective, and here's the breakthrough.

Everyone, including you, is responsible for doing this for yourself. It's great if you have a coach. It's great if you have a mentor, a boss, or a spouse who can encourage you. But no one else can do this work for you. Pulling yourself out of the doubt is an inside job.

The good news? You already know how to coach someone else through a hard moment. You do it for your team, your kids, or your friends.

Now it's time to do it for yourself.

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