Most people think uncertainty is a problem to solve, but it isn't. It's a muscle to build.

At our 15th anniversary dinner, my wife, Amy, made a decision I thought was cool. She left her phone back at the hotel. But something funny happened. Multiple times throughout the night, without even thinking, she reached for a phone that wasn't there. It happened so often that we started laughing, almost in embarrassment.

Whether it was a habit or some part of the conversation felt uncomfortable, it was a wake-up call for both of us. We had trained ourselves to reach for certainty the moment anything felt unclear.

And we aren't alone. Studies have found that intolerance of uncertainty has been increasing for decades. Researchers suggest a dependency has formed from how often we reach for answers through our devices. The discomfort of not knowing has become so unbearable, we fill it the second it shows up.

There's a term coined by John Keats for the antidote: Negative Capability.

Which is the discipline of embracing, rather than running from, uncertainty, doubt, and mystery. And developing it might be one of the most underrated parts of your mental maturity.

Scrolling feels better than sitting with an uncomfortable thought. Checking feels better than waiting. But what's available on the other side of that discomfort, whether it's a real conversation, a creative idea, or an honest emotion you've been avoiding, is usually worth more than whatever you found on your phone.

You don't have to solve the uncertainty. You just have to learn to sit in it. So test yourself today. Leave your phone somewhere not within reach. See how often you think about it or, worse, reach for it.

P.S. The Optimistic Outlook is a Podcast! Leaving a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts would mean a lot.