If you pick up a coffee mug and hold it out in front of you with your arm extended, it doesn’t feel very heavy at first. You could probably hold it there for a while.

But give it enough time, and something interesting happens. The weight doesn’t change, but it starts to feel heavier. Your arm begins to fatigue. What once felt easy becomes difficult. The weight stayed the same. You didn’t.

Oliver Burkeman has a line I’ve always remembered: “Just because someone carries it well doesn’t mean the weight isn’t heavy.”

There is a good chance you’ve learned how to carry things well. Responsibilities, decision making, expectations, and pressure. You’ve adapted and built the strength to handle it.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.

In my coaching, I often describe it like a backpack. Everyone is walking around with one, and over time, you get used to the weight. So used to it that you stop noticing it. You just keep carrying it.

And here’s what I’ve come to believe. The goal isn’t to pretend the weight isn’t there. The goal is to become strong enough to carry it without it controlling you.

Because the weight in your life isn’t going away. Responsibility doesn’t disappear. Pressure doesn’t go away. Expectations don’t get lighter. You get stronger both mentally and physically.

Just like a weightlifter doesn’t remove the bar, they train until they can handle more of it. Mental strength works the same way. The more you train your mind, the more capacity you build to carry what life puts on you.

I don’t know what you’re carrying right now. But I do know this. If it feels heavy, that doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you’re human and you have built the strength to carry it.

So here’s the reminder: The weight may not change, but your capacity can.

P.S. Today is the 256th episode of the Optimistic Outlook, which is also a podcast! Leaving a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts.