The majority of the beliefs you carry are limiting, and many of them are lies.
The worst part is they aren’t forced on you. They’re invited, accepted, and tolerated.
During a particularly difficult season of life, I was introduced to a book that changed the way I think. It’s called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In it, he writes,
“95% of the beliefs we store in our minds are lies. And they are there because we allow them.”
That line stopped me cold.
Ruiz doesn’t frame the book as a set of rules for behavior, but as filters for belief. A way to interrupt the quiet lies before they become permanent.
Be impeccable with your word - This isn’t just about being honest with others, it’s also about your self-talk. Most of the lies we believe live in how we speak to ourselves. I have written before, “The words you say to yourself are the most important words you say.”
Don’t take anything personally - The majority of things people do or say have little to nothing to do with you, but more about their own battles. When you refuse to take things personally, it ensures that other people’s behavior does not become your identity.
Don’t make assumptions - When your brain doesn’t know something, it invents the ending. Typically, those assumptions are negative and the worst-case scenario. Since assumptions set you up for suffering, this agreement interrupts the soft lie before it becomes concrete.
Always do your best - More often than not, you don’t give it everything you have. That doesn’t mean you refuse to give good effort, but there is almost always more room in the tank. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or always win. But it does mean that your best today looks a little better than it did yesterday.
The hard truth is that even knowing all of this, we will still carry beliefs that limit and lie to us. Not because they’re true, but because they’re familiar and comfortable.
They stay that way if we allow them.
So just for today, choose one of the 4 Agreements. Live it intentionally, then stack it tomorrow.
That’s how beliefs actually change. One intentional action at a time.
95% of the beliefs we store in our minds are lies. And they are there because we allow them.
P.S. The Optimistic Outlook is a Podcast! Leaving a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts would mean a lot.
Use Your Gifts,
John Eades
Creator, The Leadership Lens & The Optimistic Outlook