Adversity spares no one.
It does not matter how hard you work or where you come from. It is not a question of if you will face adversity. It is when. And sometimes, for how long.
A few years ago, I interviewed Damon West, a former college quarterback whose life unraveled and eventually led him to prison. It was there he encountered the story of the coffee bean.
He explained it this way:
“When you put a carrot in boiling water, it gets soft. When you put an egg in boiling water, it gets hard. But when you put coffee beans in boiling water, they change the water. The boiling water represents adversity.”
Then he asked the real question.
“What happens to you when it does? Do you get soft and quit? Do you get hard and bitter? Or do you become like a coffee bean, transforming your environment? The coffee bean does not allow the water to change it. It changes the water.”
Duke Women’s basketball coach Kara Lawson said something that perfectly complements that idea: “You don’t get to choose the length of adversity. You only get to control who you are in it.”
That is the part most of us struggle with. We want the adversity to end. We need a definitive timeline to get relief.
What we actually control is who we become while it lingers. You may not choose how long the water boils. You do choose what it produces in you.
So here’s the question.
While you are facing adversity for an unknown period of time, who are you becoming?
P.S. The Leadership Guide to Delegation: How to Build Real Ownership on Your Team: I am teaching a free workshop today at 12PM EST register for free here.
“You don’t get to choose the length of adversity. You only get to control who you are in it.”
P.S. The Optimistic Outlook is a Podcast! Leaving a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts would mean a lot.
Use Your Gifts,
John Eades
Creator, The Leadership Lens & The Optimistic Outlook