There is a decent chance you don’t love reading, but you like listening. Did you know the Optimistic Outlook is also a podcast? A perfect way to help you be more optimistic in 3 minutes or less during your commute, walk, or while you’re getting ready. Check it out on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Now back to your regularly scheduled Optimistic Outlook newsletter…

The most dangerous addiction might not come from a bottle or a pill. It might come from something much quieter.

The approval of other people.

Getting approval feels incredible. It is a dopamine hit that lights you up. I felt it recently when one of these newsletters received some of the kindest responses I could ever dream of. For a moment, it felt like I was plugged into a Christmas tree. I felt good inside, and I had a hard time removing my smile.

But just because something feels good does not mean it is good.

When your confidence is tied to applause, it is only a matter of time before the applause fades. And when it fades, it’s easy to crash with it. So you begin chasing it.

A mentor of mine once said, “The most dangerous addiction is the approval of other people.”

Now, to be candid, I am not sure it is worse than a drug addiction, but I understand the warning. If all you chase is approval, you eventually lose yourself trying to earn it.

Here is the truth. It is not easy to stop caring what people think. In fact, when I hear someone say they do not care, I usually assume they are lying. Caring is normal and we are wired for connection.

But caring what people think and relying on their approval are two very different things.

Caring is human. Approval is addictive.

Breaking the habit is not about pretending you do not care. It is about shifting where your confidence comes from. Confidence comes from within, and it’s built through consistent daily repetition.

Do your work with a level of excellence that makes you proud. Work hard to live up to your standards, not anyone else’, and let approval be a bonus, not a lifeline.

P.S. If you’re ready to strengthen your mindset and build a more optimistic voice, my new book the Optimistic Outlook is now available. It includes 101 lessons and short stories to help you grow one day at a time. Also, a perfect Christmas present for a colleague or kid!

Check out the Optimistic Outlooks podcast and leave a review to help the show grow.